Fringe

Discussion in 'Just Talk' started by Deleted member 33931, Aug 22, 2017.

    1. “I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change.” Ken Cheng
    2. “Trump’s nothing like Hitler. There’s no way he could write a book.” Frankie Boyle
    3. “I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions. What’s the point?” Alexei Sayle
    4. “I’m looking for the girl-next-door type. I’m just gonna keep moving house till I find her.” Lew Fitz
    5. “I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the ‘brella’. But he hesitated.” Andy Field
    6. “Combine Harvesters. And you’ll have a really big restaurant.” Mark Simmons
    7. “I’m rubbish with names. It’s not my fault, it’s a condition. There’s a name for it …” Jimeoin
    8. “I have two boys, five and six. We’re no good at naming things in our house.” Ed Byrne
    9. “I wasn’t particularly close to my dad before he died ... which was lucky, because he trod on a landmine.” Olaf Falafel
    10. “Whenever someone says, ‘I don’t believe in coincidences’, I say, ‘Oh my God, me neither!’” Alasdair Beckett-King
    11. “A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men’s singles event.” Angela Barnes
    12. “As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting, but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer.” Adele Cliff
    13. “For me, dying is a lot like going camping. I don’t want to do it.” Phil Wang
    14. “I wonder how many chameleons snuck on to the Ark.” Adam Hess
    15. “I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act.” Tim Vine
     
    Jord86, btiw2 and Dr Bodgit like this.
  1. btiw2

    btiw2 Screwfix Select

    Nice. 8 and 10 are probably my favourites.

    Anybody have any Screwfix related one liners?
    1. Somebody suggested I get some racking. The idea was shelved.
    2. Trump claims Obama bugged him and is planting fake devices. Which screwdriver's best for a self tapper?
    3. Awww... My Wiha has broken. Anybody want to buy my screwdriver bits?
    4. I don't recommend Charlottesville kitchen doors. They're unhinged and the knobs are on the far right.
    5. I tried that Gorilla glue. Harambe's still dead. It didn't cure.
     
    Jord86 and Deleted member 33931 like this.
  2. Dr Bodgit

    Dr Bodgit Super Member

    Sean Connery was injured when some books fell on him.

    He said - "I only have my shelf to blame".
     
  3. btiw2

    btiw2 Screwfix Select

    Sean Connery was in my local Screwfix the other day buying safety boots. He didn't like the brand.
    [​IMG]
     
  4. Dr Bodgit

    Dr Bodgit Super Member

    I bought some site trousers in the daily deal yesterday for a tenner. They're even site coloured.

    [​IMG]
     
    Deleted member 33931 and btiw2 like this.
  5. btiw2

    btiw2 Screwfix Select

    They are indeed. The colour wouldn't change if you sat in those.

    Sean came round to fix my electrics the other day. After a bit he said it was shorted. Does that mean I can turn the trips back on?
     
    Deleted member 33931 likes this.
  6. Harry Stottle

    Harry Stottle Screwfix Select

    I used to be apathetic, but now I can't be bothered.
     
  7. Mr. Handyandy

    Mr. Handyandy Screwfix Select

    I used to be indecisive, I think.
     

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