“I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change.” Ken Cheng “Trump’s nothing like Hitler. There’s no way he could write a book.” Frankie Boyle “I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions. What’s the point?” Alexei Sayle “I’m looking for the girl-next-door type. I’m just gonna keep moving house till I find her.” Lew Fitz “I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the ‘brella’. But he hesitated.” Andy Field “Combine Harvesters. And you’ll have a really big restaurant.” Mark Simmons “I’m rubbish with names. It’s not my fault, it’s a condition. There’s a name for it …” Jimeoin “I have two boys, five and six. We’re no good at naming things in our house.” Ed Byrne “I wasn’t particularly close to my dad before he died ... which was lucky, because he trod on a landmine.” Olaf Falafel “Whenever someone says, ‘I don’t believe in coincidences’, I say, ‘Oh my God, me neither!’” Alasdair Beckett-King “A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men’s singles event.” Angela Barnes “As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting, but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer.” Adele Cliff “For me, dying is a lot like going camping. I don’t want to do it.” Phil Wang “I wonder how many chameleons snuck on to the Ark.” Adam Hess “I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act.” Tim Vine
Nice. 8 and 10 are probably my favourites. Anybody have any Screwfix related one liners? Somebody suggested I get some racking. The idea was shelved. Trump claims Obama bugged him and is planting fake devices. Which screwdriver's best for a self tapper? Awww... My Wiha has broken. Anybody want to buy my screwdriver bits? I don't recommend Charlottesville kitchen doors. They're unhinged and the knobs are on the far right. I tried that Gorilla glue. Harambe's still dead. It didn't cure.
They are indeed. The colour wouldn't change if you sat in those. Sean came round to fix my electrics the other day. After a bit he said it was shorted. Does that mean I can turn the trips back on?