Are you Britain’s Top Tradesman?

I would, but it wouldn't be fair on all the other's.

 

I know this is not going to win me any friends over at screwfix, Britians TOP tradesmen will use builders/plumbers merchants because of the way things work with discounts,
I'm not taking anything away from screwfix, you give the ordinary public and small time tradesmen a good deal, so you need to rename the award as Britains top screwfix clients or similar, the top tradesmen are shopping elswhere,

 

No it's not me. Next question

 

No doubt you will have to put on a great act, get customers to bull you up and behave in a manner that no real person let alone a tradesman would act. Ponce around like a fairy not getting to grip with the task at hand and achieving sod all in a day. This means no blasphemy when that lump hammer bounces off your thumb nail or that exposed part nail or screw thread scrapes down the middle of your skull when you crawl out of that dark damp filthy confined space ........ All to find what you were doing in there in the first place failed to achieve what you set out to do ........... Not for me I love acting as though I have tourette's after my mishaps But when I do leave I like to see a satisfied customer

 

I don't know about that Phil I think elephantman has got it in the bag.

 

Bugger, you've sussed out why I won't enter.