Beard till Sat then mutton chops like a victorian strongman wife murderer then clean shaven till I get bored of shaving then stubble. I only had that tache for as long at it took me to take the photo.
I can't cope with the wait Dev, its doing me in I'm having a meltdown. I've already compiled an email for if she doesn't get in its spelt all proper and everythink its very good. This is THE only place Dev. No other way in. God they did a job on her at the interview. She is not like ME. She is kind and sweet and nice natured and just a really lovely human being. I was hard as nails at 15 and near on impossible to intimidate. Becca is a great kid but she has been overprotected all her life. They will eat her alive Its been a tough few days. She is so desperate to get in. Trouble is I coped with it easily because at that age if someone even thought about attempting to bully me on a yard I'd have warned them 1st time and the 2nd time I'd whack em and everyone could sense that. I could look after myself. They broke her in the interview big time and they know she would fall apart if pushed. Racing is a tough world on tough yards. It ain't glamorous behind the scenes. She won't even contemplate any other career though so she's gonna have to learn the hard way and fight for it and prove herself. I can reapply if she doesn't get in because she reached the interview stage so that's something at least. She doesn't think she got in but reading between the lines of the interview I think maybe she has got a place but it was borderline if she has and with concerns. I will let you know.
The British racing school have just put on twitter about some lad who got in on the course becca has gone for. There is a link to the interview we haven't heard yet
I made it home Malkie god forsaken horrible journey it was. Me in my little Peugeot 106 battling against all those humungus lorries it was scary, but when I get scared I get angry so they didn't stand much chance. I've had my fill of Costa coffee for one year. I am so delighted to be home in Devon. It was lovely to walk round my park with the dog instead of the dirty grimy concrete where we were. I hated going away from home. I'm a home bird now I'm older.
I will have you know it was a near on 6 hr journey and I only honked my horn twice and gave only one driver the v sign. He deserved it and okay I did point at a few drivers and shout twit or a similar word but I'm home safe and I survived
The rate my daughter is going I'd be lucky to afford them they may well end up a luxury I will live without.
I have never crashed and burned in my life Dev and its unlikely I ever will. I am a survivor. I will agree that I don't have the nicest of characters but its a strong one and at times its been the only thing in the world I had left. I trust no one, and you were quite right when you mentioned that I would sabotage anyone or anything that even attempted to get close or in my way. In a heartbeat I would! Without a seconds thought. I don't wanna be someone else, I never have! I'm just me and I'm sorry if its complicated and if you feel like I'm all over the place and all the rest of it. What you choose to think is down to you and not my problem. Accept me for who I am or don't bother with me. I do have a slight feeling that you do have a very tiny bit of fondness for me Really tiny Chippie just wanted to get my knickers off naughty man
"Victorian strongman wife murderer" its a good job you are married, can you imagine putting that on a dating profile
Of course I bludy do. And I'm sure everyone on here does too. Why shouldn't I? You are clearly a very decent person doing her damnedest for her child. I hope for, and wish you, the best. Everything I've ever said has been an attempt to be helpful - cutting through the carp and trying to encourage the honesty. Part of that does mean I will be blunt, because that's the only way I think I can get through. Every time I sense 'defensiveness', I will try and cut through it. That doesn't mean that I am right about it, but I just don't see "There, there" serving any helpful purpose at all. The good thing is, you are just reading words - and you can chose to read them, or discard them. "I can't cope with the wait Dev, its doing me in I'm having a meltdown." And so is your daughter if she senses any of this from you. Your child - for that is what she is - will be sensing and acting on what she sees in her mum. "I've already compiled an email for if she doesn't get in its spelt all proper and everythink its very good." Jeeezus chryst - think carefully before sending it. What purpose will it serve? Will it somehow make them change their mind (assuming she doesn't get in - which she very likely will...). Of course it won't. Will it make them think "Blimey - she needs her mummy?" It might... (Of course, your letter might be quite wonderful, and might make all the difference. But chust make sure it bludy does before you send it.) "This is THE only place Dev. No other way in." Really? The only way in? The only option your girl has? REALLY?! If yer girl reads this in your face, she will - rightly - be shi**ing herself. So please think carefully how you come across to her on this matter. "God they did a job on her at the interview. She is not like ME. She is kind and sweet and nice natured and just a really lovely human being." What are you saying? That you have to be a hard b!tch before you get a job in this business?! Really? I doubt that very, very much. Why should this business be nasty and tough and back-stabbing and in-yer-face more than any other? You reckon a person with competence and honesty and integrity and charm and sweetness and kindness and caring doesn't have a look in? You haver gotta be kidding. "Becca is a great kid but she has been overprotected all her life. They will eat her alive " No they won't. It might start like that, but she will win respect for her integrity and honesty and ability and will win people round. Those who aren't are those with insecurity - and they can foff. "Trouble is I coped with it easily because at that age if someone even thought about attempting to bully me on a yard I'd have warned them 1st time and the 2nd time I'd whack em and everyone could sense that. I could look after myself." Barlocks. That's the act you put on - and you hated it. You hated feeling you had to do it. You hated thinking this is what survival required. "They broke her in the interview big time and they know she would fall apart if pushed." Eh? What is this? MI6?! "Racing is a tough world on tough yards. It ain't glamorous behind the scenes." Possibly. Probably. I don't know anything about it. But I bet those who really make a difference are those who are respected. And you don't get respect from being an ar**. "She won't even contemplate any other career though so she's gonna have to learn the hard way and fight for it and prove herself." Or is that her mum talking? "She doesn't think she got in but reading between the lines of the interview I think maybe she has got a place but it was borderline if she has and with concerns." I really, really hope she's clinched it Before her mum implodes/explodes... - I have never crashed and burned in my life Dev and its unlikely I ever will. I am a survivor. I will agree that I don't have the nicest of characters but its a strong one and at times its been the only thing in the world I had left. I trust no one, and you were quite right when you mentioned that I would sabotage anyone or anything that even attempted to get close or in my way. In a heartbeat I would! Without a seconds thought. I don't wanna be someone else, I never have! I'm just me and I'm sorry if its complicated and if you feel like I'm all over the place and all the rest of it. What you choose to think is down to you and not my problem. Accept me for who I am or don't bother with me.
I'm going to bed now, its all dark and raining. Thank you I do always appreciate your replies whatever is in them. You generally make a lot of sense and I rarely disagree. Becca is not here by the way she is at her dads and I do have some level of control. And its a very good email just about reapplying The director told her off for crying and she came out the room all blotchy with a bright red neck. It was a brutal day sadly What will be will be. I've always said to her as long as she is happy and healthy that's all that matters to me and anything else can be sorted along the way. It wouldn't be the end of the world if she didn't get in but she is adamant that she doesn't want to go to sixth form and wants this apprenticeship so we will just wait for the answer. Yes its young but that's school leaving age and they want them in education til 18 on courses and doing apprenticeships. Its a residential course obviously I'd rather she was home but ... Anyway. Night Dev and everyone else, I'm gonna read my book all cosy in bed with my cuppa listening to the rain.
"I've always said to her as long as she is happy and healthy that's all that matters to me and anything else can be sorted along the way." Absolutely. And the truth of that becomes more clear with each year. If you manage both these things, you've clinched wot life is all about. "I'm gonna read my book all cosy in bed with my cuppa listening to the rain." That sounds like pure happiness .
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