Saw solicitor this morning. All things now agreed. Got to wait for wifes solicitor response. House going on market asap. Solicitor thinks 6 months and we will be divorced!
But you knew it was ultimately inevitable, yes? In which case, can I suggest - however hard it feels a right now - the sooner it happens the better. You ain't old by any stretch, but every year from now on is more precious, so I'd suggest that getting 'out' now is far better than in 2 or 4 year's time. And, let's face it, it wasn't much fun in the marriage the last few years? The sun is out. The sky is blue-ish. It's a good life - usually. And - soz - it's definitely the only one we'll have.
No its not, its pouring down. But hey go out and play in it, its no good sitting in doors waiting for the sun, just go and have some fun.
Kools, I honestly think this is working out as well as it possibly could. You've been together a goodly amount of time, and divorce is never pleasant or easy. But... It was inevitable, wasn't it? You will no longer have that hellish pressure of being in what I can only guess was a loveless marriage - that is good. Your daughter seems to be getting out of this unscathed - that is VERY good. She wants to see you both pretty much equally afterwards - that is EXCEPTIONALLY good. You seem to have arrived at a mutually-beneficial decision on the house and other goods - that is astonishingly good. Both parties will have enough after this to set up their separate homes with no mortgage - good lord, that is amazing. You are on reasonable terms with your wife despite all you've gorn through the past while - that is almost unheard of. You are young-ish and have a whole new life ahead of you - that is very, very fortunate for you (and it'll almost certainly be easier for you than for your wife - that is a general truism and very unfair on women, but not your fault. You have skills and interests that you can now exploit without hindrance - get a flat that needs work, and get out doing some interesting evening classes (or college course). Yes, it hurts and yes it's scary and yes it's horrible, but also - yes - it'll pass. And, really, you seem to have had it pretty much as well as could possibly be. In the scheme of things, you have been very fortunate with this whole situation. Keep on being attentive and thoughtful and considerate to your family - including the soon-to-be ex. Be magnanimous. Be forgiving. Be super-tolerant. Don't let any issues escalate or get under your skin. Don't try and score points. Make it all as smooth as it can possibly be - even if it means taking some things on the chin. In this horrible situation, you are getting it as easily as it could be - so be grateful for these things. And share that gratitude.
Well it certainly takes some time which is why I asked the question. An understanding of all assets and how they are to be split need to be arrived at - savings, pension (company, state, second state pension), investments, equity in the property (which will only be known once it is sold). It took many months for me and the Ex to work all this out, some time is needed just for the fact finding, especially valuation of pensions.
All agreed. My solicitor is drawing up the agreement as we dont need mediation! Wife all agreed now to everything! Trying to persuade her that her dad can buy her a new car! lol She seems a bit peeved about that but i have explained and she has not argued. Oh, and i asked for the kitchen table and she agreed!
DA. you know, i really thank you for sound advice and friendly words etc. Thanks for your caring attitude etc. It means a lot Plus, i thank everyone on here. It has been good to sound off and get some great advice and some laughs too. Wife is off work today as i am and we been chatting well and trying to get the house ready to put on the market. Cheers guys
Good luck, Kools, and keep us posted. Of course, it's all gonna go pear-shaped when you tell 'erself that you also want half her take-home pay...