Divorce

Discussion in 'Just Talk' started by koolpc, Feb 22, 2017.

  1. Well, that's all reasonable stuff to want, Kools. I presume you accept that this happiness is not going to happen with your wife?

    I don't understand how you can split the money in 'her' account without telling her?

    Anyhoo, it looks as tho' the pressure is off at the moment - she isn't pushing for divorce and you know you have time to get things better sorted for the future?

    You have time now to add to your own life bit by bit - you have a part time job through which you will hopefully meet a new circle of acquaintances. If you find things too uncomfortable in the evenings, then look around for some other activities - evening classes (eg guitar :) , art, pottery, philosophy... :D). Get a pushbike if you don't already have one - get out on some nice runs. Go for walks walks walks. End up in a pub for one pint...

    If things are never going to actually work out between you relationship-wise, then accept that asap - and make steady plans; there will come a time when you'll actively want to get out. And knowing you are getting these plans together will help you to cope with the time in between.
     
    PaulBlackpool and longboat like this.
  2. chippie244

    chippie244 Super Member

    Yes and it was.
     
  3. longboat

    longboat Screwfix Select

    She couldn't give a ****? Nice.
    She's trying to break you Kool's, if your daughter was her priority she wouldn't be doing this.
    You need to show her that you won't let this 'break you'.
    Do something!
     

  4. You are married.

    It is joint assetts.

    Get it detailed and accounted for.
     
    KIAB likes this.
  5. DIYDave.

    DIYDave. Screwfix Select

    True words indeed kools, keep reading and thinking about the meaning of these words and the love that you feel towards your daughter

    Then more importantly, cut down on the booze and give the pills a total miss and think you were lucky this time

    Your passion and feelings towards your daughter just isn't compatable with the painkillers

    Maybe a temporary blip, a real low point, a mistake, a rash judgement. Yep your life must be hell at the moment but stick with it, vast changes are going to have to happen, life will never be the same again, financially things will get even tougher and heartbreak a plenty. But, your future happiness is also important here and also that both you and your wife start making plans for the future. If that means separating / divorce then so be it. Yes not as easy as that in reality but no point in dragging out the inevitable

    Rightly or wrongly divorce within society is happening on a massive scale, often with kids involved. People do get through this and learn to readjust their lives, often forming new relationships. Takes some people longer than others to find happiness once again and sadly, some people never find it. Kids are tougher than you may think and will have friends their age that have come from similiar family situations. Your daughter isn't the 1st and for sure won't be the last that has parents in the middle of a disintegrating marriage. You will all learn to cope in time but living under 1 roof may hamper the process.

    Good luck and continue to talk to 'real' people regularly as well as chatting here on the forum
     
  6. koolpc

    koolpc Super Member

    Cheers guys. Appreciate all your words.

    Still seeing solicitor next wednesday. Need good advice.

    As for accessing 'wifes' savings (They are 'ours' not 'hers') i have access to the account and can move money if pushed! I wont though. I have told her i want it split. I want it sorted asap. Its only fair. I dont want to spend it. I just want it split. We have just made separate current accounts now. Only thing that is joint is the house and we are mortgage free.
     
  7. Astramax

    Astramax Super Member

    Have you sorted a 'Will' because you need toooooooooooooooo! :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:
     
  8. koolpc

    koolpc Super Member

    We did one years ago about have both said we need an updated one now. Ta
     
  9. koolpc

    koolpc Super Member

    Still seeing solicitor on wednesday. Wife has been ok but still a bit nasty by taking the pee out of me as she will not leave my adultery in the past. Cannot blame her but she said she does not and has not loved me for years so why keep being ruddy nasty!

    If i get a good full time job i am filing for divorce, on my own grounds. Ruddy no life as it is. We need to divorce, buy separate houses and start living again!
     
  10. Astramax

    Astramax Super Member

    !
    Because WORDS are POWERFUL:mad::eek::eek::mad::mad: The correctly chosen words can and will sting!:(
     
  11. koolpc

    koolpc Super Member

    Yes, i agree.

    Got to sort my life out and move on with my Daughter as number 1 priority
     
  12. PaulBlackpool

    PaulBlackpool Screwfix Select

    You have said that your wife did not care whether you took your own life or not.
    I don't want to upset up any further than you are already but If that had been said to me I would be living on a park bench.
    You keep saying that your daughter is your life and that you must put her first.
    I am sorry but you are wrong. What you must do in your situation is put YOURSELF first because no-one else will.
    I have never been a house husband but I imagine that it requires a very strong relationship.
    It may not be very PC to say this but from time immemorial the man has always hunted for food whilst the woman has stayed in the cave and looked after the kids.
    I appreciate this was a few thousand years ago and time has moved on,
    I am all for equality but it might be in our DNA. I might be wrong. So without wanting to evoke any wrath from anybody all I am saying is that it is easier for the husband to be the breadwinner.
    Your situation seems to have given you very low self esteem.
    You say you have not argued. It might have been better if you have had arguments from time to time to let of steam.
    See what the solicitor says but I think you need an new environment.
    Will your daughter's welfare be better served by staying where you are, as things will not stay the same in my experience, they will just deteriorate further, or moving out?
     
  13. koolpc

    koolpc Super Member

    Thank you Paul.

    I will see what the solicitor (Vulture) says on wednesday.

    I know i need a clean break. I love my daughter even though i tool an overdose last weekend. I always think of her even though i was not thinking straight last weekend.

    I truly hate my 'existence'. It is horrible 100%.

    I still keep in contact with the woman i had an affair with though. She is the only one i can talk to. I have nobody else at all..................zilch (Only u guys on here!
     
  14. wiggy

    wiggy Screwfix Select

    Put your own life jacket on first.
     
  15. koolpc

    koolpc Super Member

    Need to put my daughter first.......................I know i need to be well first though
     
  16. Astramax

    Astramax Super Member

    Vulture...change of attitude needed...............you will be using their services to act for YOU.
     
  17. koolpc

    koolpc Super Member

    They are vultures!!!.................lol
     
  18. longboat

    longboat Screwfix Select

    Hey, I like the new avatar, Kool's.

    Do you have a plan that's as cunning as a fox who's just been appointed professor of cunning at Oxford university?

    Or do you just like foxes?
    :D
     
  19. Phil the Paver

    Phil the Paver Screwfix Select


    Because you have hurt her.
    But deep down inside she still cares for you, this is obvious otherwise she just wouldn't give a **** and totally ignore you.
    Believe me that hurts far more than her still talking to you but in a nasty way, at least there's still communication of sorts.
     
  20. koolpc

    koolpc Super Member

    Daughter loves foxes massively!
     
    longboat likes this.

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