Divorce

She does not use a pc..................................................at home.

 

But she works at Screwfix!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Doesn't matter if she reads this or not - there is no 'hand' being 'played'.

This is surely a case of the marriage has broken down? No particular fault on either side (yes, our Kools committed sin in the eyes of gawd, but he was driven to this by a loveless marriage, and they stayed together afterwards...), so it's a case of you BOTH agreeing that the marriage has irretrievably broken down.

You've done the right stuff - sought counselling, kept the home going, kept civil for the benefit of all - so it's not a case of you both AGREEING what to do.

(Seen the case in the news recently - wife sued for divorce, admitted her affair, said living with hubby was hell and wanted out? Hubby said 'No' - and the courts agree she doesn't have a case http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/201...efused-divorce-judge-rules-beratement-affair/ ). So you can tell your wife that this can be done civilly - mediation and agreement on both sides - or you could just say 'No'... )

 

If it was a gift, then its a gift. He can not ask for it back.

Just be careful emailing your solicitor willnyilly, every email/letter will cost you - for them reading it, and replying.

Just had what should be my final bill through from my solicitor, every email/letter to read or write cost £24 + VAT.

 

These are all issues that will need to be dealt with and advised on by your solicitor, at the appropriate time. For the time being, I would simply tell your OH that it will be dealt with by your solicitor.

Take no decisions, make no promises, just write them all down to be discussed at the appropriate time.

 

I think you're actually in a fairly favourable position kools, if you are going to share custody of the child 50/50

The starting point for a settlement is a 50/50 split of all assets combined (house, money, pensions etc) however that will get skewed when one of you has custody of the children. If you're sharing custody, it should be much nearer a 50/50 split. Plus, as well as looking at the split of assets, there's also income to consider and if you are earning less than the Mrs, it may be that she needs to pay you spousal maintenance for an interim period of time until you get into work earning a decent wage).

Hence I think the position of sharing custody of the child will be in your favour.

 

Kools you must learn to 'Not tell your wife anything'

 

The less she know the better,never give your enemy the ammunition to use against you.

 

I did mention earlier on in the thread may not be wise to reveal all your moves to your oh, Kools didn't give a monkeys and DA didn't think it matters at all, I disagree.

 

I agree with what you think I disagree about.

(I think that's right... )

Yes, one should take care not to reveal everything. But, basically, as long as Kools is acting honestly and honourably - which I think he has been - then that's all he's doing - being honest.

But, you are right, it's best to not reveal too much especially if it's tetchy stuff.

His solicitor should be his guide.

 

Did you take a mortgage out when you bought your house Kool?

If so there will be something on the paperwork which both you and your wife would have signed confirming there are no other loans used to contribute towards the deposit. Or if you ticked the box saying someone else gave you the money that it was a gift. Either way that's all the proof you need to show that no such loan was made.

Don't get drawn into this bull as he's clearly trying it on. Save yourself the stress and ask him to provide evidence that the money was a gift, and that you AGREED to repay it, including things like repayment amounts and repayment period etc. If he can't prove that with evidence it won't stand up on court. You can then sit back and watch him get annoyed!