From this year's Fringe...

Discussion in 'Just Talk' started by Deleted member 33931, Aug 26, 2015.

  1. 1. Darren Walsh: I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans free.

    2. Stewart Francis: Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge a**e … but enough about Kanye West.

    3. Adam Hess: Surely every car is a people carrier?

    4. Masai Graham: What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

    5. Dave Green: If I could take just one thing to a desert island, I probably wouldn’t go.

    6. Mark Nelson: Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That’s not a miracle. That’s tapas.

    7. Tom Parry: Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight. Blue sky at night: day.

    8. Alun Cochrane: The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves.

    9. Simon Munnery: Clowns divorce: custardy battle.

    10. Grace the Child: They’re always telling me to live my dreams. But I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for.
     
  2. Mr. Handyandy

    Mr. Handyandy Screwfix Select

    I prefer the old Tim Vine one,

    "I finally had to sell my old hoover. Well, it was just gathering dust!"

    Mr. HandyAndy - Really
     
    Deleted member 33931 likes this.
  3. seen it all before

    seen it all before Active Member

    "Just been on a once in a life time holiday. Tell you what never again".
    Tim vine, master of the one liners.
     
    Deleted member 33931 likes this.

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