How Is This Possible?

Triumph Stag.

 

I'm confused now!

 

What's that got to do with having a Barclays?

 

'Good afternoon. and welcome to Gardeners Question Time'.

'This edition comes to you from the picturesque village of Screwfix'. Today's panel is Bob Flowerdew, Pippa Greenwood, Handy Andy and Phil the Paver. Your chairman is Eric Robson:

Eric: Let''s start with a question from a Mr. Chippie: 'Can anyone tell me, is Roundup good for caterpillars?' One for you there I think Bob...

Bob: I think I can speak for everyone here when I say quite clearly that Roundup is no good for caterpillars at all, and has been known to kill them'.

Eric: Thank you Bob. Our next question comes from a Mr. Wry from Bell End: 'I'm having trouble with beetles. I've tried everything, even getting the bloke who cures warts to ring them up, but still they are eating my apple trees. Why is this?'

Eric: Over to you Pippa.

Pippa: 'In my experience, the reason the beetles are eating your apple trees is because they are hungry'.

Eric: A nice simple answer there for you Mr. Wry. Our next question is from a Mr. D. Advocaat, spinster of this parish. He writes: Dear panel, every summer I have terrific trouble keeping the birds off of my plums. Can you offer any advice?

Perhaps Handy Andy can help?

HA: 'Well, it's obvious innit. It's the b***** EU. They want to come over here and force illegal immigrants to eat our children. That's the real problem...'

Phil the Paver: 'I agree, but it's a well-known fact that even saying the abbreviation EU too many times will make you get leprosy.'

Eric: 'Thank you panel. Next week, we are visiting the lovely village of Throcking St. Nicholas in Suffolk. Until then, from the panel and myself, it's goodbye'