WELL THEY ASKED!

The other week I'd put out the rubbish,the bin,the bag for plastic and tins,the bag for paper and the waste food caddy.I was in all day and nobody went near it except the bin men,when I went out to bring the bags and boxes in the food caddy had gone!This meant I had to ring the council and request a new one,the lady on the phone wanted to know what had happened to my old one,was it broken?No! Had the binmen taken it? No! Had I lost it? No! "well I have to have a reason to put on the computer,or I can't send you a new one" she said."well it's been taken by aliens" I replied, "taken by aliens?" She repeated with a startled tone, "oh yes,definately aliens,I put it out this morning and the binmen emptied it,when I went out to bring it in it had gone,I've searched the street and it isn't anywhere and there's not been a soul about all day,therefore it has to be aliens!"I answered trying to sound serious,I could hear her typing away on her keyboard "ok then love,aliens it is,we'll send you a new one"
I'd love to be able to see the sheet at the end of the year,food caddy replacements

Number replaced 1000
Number lost 300
Number damaged 400
Taken/not returned 299
Stolen by aliens 001
Well they are very fond of lists these officious types.lol