Cures and Charms

Discussion in 'Just Talk' started by Ryluer, Mar 10, 2015.

  1. Phil, since Ry ain't going to reply to your thorn-stye intrigue (or should I say, Ry can't reply 'cos he hasn't a clue), please allow me...

    The cove with a stye, which would clear up in a few days by itself anyways, phones up the 'curer' and explains his painful predicament to him. The curer tells him to go outside - presumably holding his cordless phone - and tells him to stare into a thorn bush.

    As the patient does this, the curer apparently (tho' I bet he doesn't really, 'cos it hurts, man...) takes a black thorn and stabs himself in his own eyelid with it.


    A few days later, the stye has healed.

    Sorry - you asked how it actually works?

    Easy - it doesn't.

    A bit like Ry's brain.

    All that's needed to work this out is a teeny tiny bit of critical thinking.
  2. Phil the Paver

    Phil the Paver Screwfix Select

    As old wives tales go, this is one I'd never heard of, so thought I'd look it up, as said Google offered no references to such practices or non that I could find, re: Blackthorn cures eye styes.

    By the way I got the gist of what the process was. ;)
  3. Mr. Handyandy

    Mr. Handyandy Screwfix Select

  4. I'm impressed that this thread is the second result from Google... :rolleyes:
  5. plumber-boy

    plumber-boy Well-Known Member

    It didn't work for me. 1426711791077.jpeg
  6. Ryluer

    Ryluer Well-Known Member

    Another cure from a local guy I've used a few times is when you get dirt in your eye.
    Grinder spark a few times. Which even for doctors can present a challenge.
    He folds your eye lid up and then back down and then walks into another room and brings back a glass of water with the grinder grit clearly inside the glass. I'd always go to him before using a doctor as again do thousands of people.
    Why? Because it works thats why.
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2015
  7. plumber-boy

    plumber-boy Well-Known Member

    Have you tried safety glasses, they've been round along time and work well.
  8. Ryluer

    Ryluer Well-Known Member

    I rarely wear safety glasses. Always go for the muffs first.
    Usually close my eyes when hanging on the end of the con saw.
  9. Phil the Paver

    Phil the Paver Screwfix Select

    When I got grinder sparks in my eyes and didn't realise at the time, I had to have an operation on it, cutting it open and removing the metal fragments piece by piece, due to them going rusty and causing an infection, very very painful and not recommended going to the hospital on your own and then driving a 7.5ton truck home with one eye blindfolded. :oops::oops: :p:p
  10. joinerjohn1

    joinerjohn1 Screwfix Select

    I allus used to go for the muffs first too,, (when Ah were quite a bit younger) The girls loved me. :p:p:p:p:p:p
    plumber-boy likes this.

  11. :( Aaargh - I've only chust twigged; Ry's been yanking my chain for 6 whole pages. :(

    You honestly had me me hooked, Ry, good and proper :oops:
  12. Ryluer

    Ryluer Well-Known Member

    A skin lesion manifested itself on my right hand about a week ago. Seemed to appear overnight and it ain't getting smaller.

    Diagnosed myself with basal cell carcinoma after studying their images and descriptions.
    Doctor says its developed to fast for that conclusion. Measured it and gave me some acid lotion.
  13. Astramax

    Astramax Super Member

    Probably an aggressive scc rather than a bcc, should get it sorted quick!:eek:
  14. joinerjohn1

    joinerjohn1 Screwfix Select

    Prod it with a thorn from some blackthorn... Might not cure it, but you'll never be bothered with styes again. :p:p:p
    Phil the Paver likes this.
  15. Phil the Paver

    Phil the Paver Screwfix Select

    You daft bugger. :):)
  16. Phil the Paver

    Phil the Paver Screwfix Select

    I've got half a dozen or so of these on my legs, been there for 6 months or so, went to docs a few weeks back, she said they were hair follicle infections, gave me some cream £8.20 don't you know, has it worked, has it ****.
  17. Astramax

    Astramax Super Member

    Simple cure is to stop shaving your legs. ;)
    Phil the Paver likes this.
  18. Phil the Paver

    Phil the Paver Screwfix Select

    That'll be it, have to stop wearing the heels too, killing my ankles. :p:p
  19. Ryluer

    Ryluer Well-Known Member

    The livestock lorry pulled up this morning at 9:00am on the dot.
    My brothers 12 prize limousines loaded up and off to be destroyed. Bovine tuberculosis.
    A sad day for him.

    Just as we finished loading them our cousin who farms 200 acres pulled up and right away knew what was happening.
    He said he had 20 tested recently from his own herd from the same batch. 16 proved reactors and were destroyed.
    4 were tested on a separate day and between times he had got wind of a telephone cure so tried it. The results arrived back for these four and gave the all clear.
    On one hand he was dumbfounded because it wasn't possible for them to survive being in the same batch. On the other hand he knew the cure did the job.
  20. Phil the Paver

    Phil the Paver Screwfix Select

    Best you get hold of that cure then.

    Because Rodney "This time next year, we're gonna be millionaires" :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:


    You are daft at the best of times and sometimes you're just plain stupid.

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