Discussion in 'Just Talk' started by koolpc, Feb 22, 2017.

  1. I guess it depends if Kools is actually going to move out in the short-term. It doesn't look as tho' he is - or can?

    So, IF they can keep this relatively amicable and IF she is happy for Kools to be there as housekeeper in the medium term but IF they ultimately want to part, then a 2-year time-slot doesn't seem too bad.

    Do you have to be physically separated for these two years - does one person actually have to move out to a different address? If so, then I guess that won't work then... :oops:

    But if this mess is going to take the best part of two years anyway, then surely it's the most civilised way of doing it - especially since there's a kid involved.
  2. Dr Bodgit

    Dr Bodgit Super Member

    The separation for 2 years has to be a pretty good separation. It is possible to live in the same house but very difficult, as you'd have to show that you are living, sleeping, eating etc all independently.

  3. Sounds like she has been talking, getting advice from somebody/somewhere?
  4. koolpc

    koolpc Screwfix Select

    Yea, she has been talking to her boss etc.

    She said to me last night that she does not want a divorce! She wants things to remain as they are. But how long is a piece of string?

    She said i can think of it as me being a lodger! lol

    I have managed to secure a part time job working some evenings to bring in some money. She is still the bread winner though and she is fine with that. Its the fact that i dont know how much more i can take living in the same house. There is no arguing. Maybe i should stick it out for as long as i can.

    Yes, i have spoken to one priest who is a trained counselor too. I am yet to have a 2nd meeting with him. He was very helpful indeed.

    D A is right (for once! lol Kidding buddy! :p) in that i can't just move out. I have nothing. Everything is tied up in the house and her savings (Which used to be in joint names until i put them solely in her name. Stupid i know but i have access to them).

  5. Get it all back into joint names. Before she moves it.
  6. koolpc

    koolpc Screwfix Select

    Wish it was that easy. She has a lot locked up in bonds
  7. Kools, what is it you want?
  8. koolpc

    koolpc Screwfix Select

    Peace! lol

    No, seriously? I want to be loved again mate (Not by you!! :p). I want to feel happy. I want to have no worry about the wife and i relationship.

    I guess i dont want to move out yet. I would rather wait until our daughter is at least 16 years old. I think this is what my wife now wants too.

    We just this minute started the process of extinguishing our joint current account. I have set up my own.

    I told her i want 'All' saving in joint names or split 50/50.......now! She is thinking about it. I could easily split it without telling her but i dont want to go down that route (yet).

    Thanks guys for you support. Tough time indeed.
  9. chippie244

    chippie244 Super Member

    One of my sisters did it that way.
  10. koolpc

    koolpc Screwfix Select

    Was that separation while still living together? Seems odd that.
  11. Sparkielev

    Sparkielev Screwfix Select

    This is what I would do, get your own bank account split savings get yourself nice flat and start living again, your wife calling all the shots you need to take control and enjoy life otherwise it gonna get bleak
  12. proby

    proby Active Member

    Kools what was the advice from the priest? I always thought divorce was frowned on for chatholics.
  13. Astramax

    Astramax Super Member

    He can't get his own flat as that would be a joint asset, they are still married.
  14. koolpc

    koolpc Screwfix Select

    I know but if i up and leave i will have to find a full time job and a house and still be there for daughter. At the moment the savings are in her name, of which i am trying to persuade her to split and i do have a roof over my head and can see my bestest friend every day, my daughter!
  15. koolpc

    koolpc Screwfix Select

    He did not talk about divorce. He wanted me to try to seek out the 'root' of my problems. to talk to my wife about what she thought the future held. He kept the 'faith' side of things out of the discussion as he said we need to deal with the practical stuff first. Not seen him yet for a follow up.
  16. Astramax

    Astramax Super Member

    Don't leave as that will be interpreted as 'desertion'.
  17. koolpc

    koolpc Screwfix Select

    We would need to sell the family home first.

    I think we have both agreed that 'divorce' is not happening yet. We need to both be here for our daughter however hard it is for us. She is our priority.
  18. Astramax

    Astramax Super Member

    Do it properly!
  19. longboat

    longboat Screwfix Select

    I'll rephrase that for you, Kool's.

    She has told me that divorce is not happening yet. You will be there for your daughter.
    The wife's priority is to punish me for my mistake.

    That's how it looks to me from the one-sided info you've put on here.
    Have you told her she's driven you to suicidal thoughts?
  20. koolpc

    koolpc Screwfix Select

    Long, she knows. She does not care much.................I want to be here for my gorgeous daughter and will gladly suffer for her..............She is my life

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