Engineer - So define it!

Discussion in 'Engineers' Talk' started by Charlie Far!ey, Dec 21, 2003.

  1. Dewy

    Dewy New Member

    Dont change or leave the subject CF.
    This has to be one of the best threads on the forum.
    Its a topic that is likely to receive many different replies for months to come. ;)
  2. supersparky

    supersparky New Member

    charlie....what is your job?
    charlie the comidaian.....
    charlie the superbrain albert einstin style.....
    and then the day job..... can juggle aswell?
    you must stay charlie, touch of brain and humor...must be unique

  3. WOLF

    WOLF New Member

    well done S/S
  4. Charlie Far!ey

    Charlie Far!ey New Member

    Hey Dewey

    It beats the cr ap outta minging old gas pipes doesn't it!

    Tell you what lets discuss Boyles Law - you up for it guys.

    PS Well done SS - Good answer!
  5. Dewy

    Dewy New Member

    Its been many years that I gave any thought to the 3 gas laws. the only Boyles law I think about these days is that a boyle on the bum dont half hurt. hehe
  6. supersparky

    supersparky New Member

    ahh yes,
    Boyle's Law says that under conditions of constant temperature + quantity, there is an inverse relationship between the volume and pressure for an ideal gas..

  7. Dewy

    Dewy New Member

    That brings to mind the law regaring indian squaws.

    Three squaws took great pride in the animal hides their husbands had given them to lie on.
    One squaw gave birth to a male papoose on her antelope hide.
    The second squaw gave birth to twin male papooses on her bison hide.
    The third squaw had male triplets on her hippopotamus hide.

    Pythagoras him say
    "The sons of the sqaw on the hippopotamus equals the sons of the squaws on the other two hides.
  8. Mr Kitchen

    Mr Kitchen New Member

    Now Avagadro was an even more interesting chappy. He postulated a theory which he knew was true but counld'nt prove it, so he went to his grave having given rise to Avagadro's Hypothesis. As everyone knows a hypothesis is something known to be true but un-provable. Do any of you lot know if his hypothesis has been proven scientifically yet? and where can I get a new supercharger belt for my D-type Auto Union and where have all the Engineers gone?
  9. Dewy

    Dewy New Member

    To keep Charlie happy.
    Temperature is a measure of how hot objects are.

    As for Avagadro’s Hypothesis. This states that equal volumes of different gases at the same temperature and pressure, contain the same number of molecules. Most scientists at the time dismissed this, but it has been found over and over again to be true.
    Try farting in any sized room & eventually everyone in there knows.
    Now the entire system of measuring pure substances (elements and compounds) is based on this fact.
    All the searches I have done seem to accept it but until its proved conclusivelly, it will remain a hypothesis & not a law. Its almost 200 years since he came to this conclusion.
  10. Mr Kitchen

    Mr Kitchen New Member

    You don't fancy joining a pub quiz team Dewy? I can guarantee you free beer forever.
  11. Dewy

    Dewy New Member

    Read somewhere in the forums & you will see that I used to have a good weekend out on those Trivia machines. I would go to the pub on a Friday night, buy one pint & put a pound in the machine. That paid for the nights beer with enough left over for Saturday nights pint & pound for the machine. That carried over to Sunday. Cheapest weekend possible & I always stayed ahead.
  12. Mr Kitchen

    Mr Kitchen New Member

    I was going to say you should get out more, but apparently you do. Are you the one in the corner with the buck teeth and anorak called Duane Dibley?
  13. Charlie Far!ey

    Charlie Far!ey New Member

    Are you really engineers - Then lets put our di cks on the table and see what you're made of.

    Cut the cr ap guys your fighting about theoretical science here - Now lets get our teeth into some real engineering and this is gonna take all of you Proper Engineers to solve the problem and a lot of Internet and research work so buckle your belts and put your di cks away cos we gotta a lot of work ahead.

    The Beagle has not responded and it dont look like it will. It cost £20 million to get it to Mars so what would you do to get it there? What is needed to get it to the surface and get it to phone home?

    The Yankees spent £500 million and they are now making coloured movies of the planets surface. Only a matter of time before Tom Cruise stars in The Man on Mars - Lets stop spitting at each other and put this right.

    What do we need to know?

    Gravity rate - ours is 9.8m/sec what is it on Mars and what affect will it have?
    Temperature - How hot/cold is it and will it have an effect on atmospheric conditions?
    Atmospheric conditions what are they will it assist with the landing?
    Ground conditions - Are they solid enough to support a 'n' pound lander module?
    Electronics What do we need? How can it be raised? Ask if there is any other parameters that have been overlooked - Thats your job supersparky you have a better understanding than most.
    Control systems - What do we need to provide tangible research data? - Keep in touch with SS as he has to account for all energy usage. Which leads us to
    Energy requirements - What do we need and how long do we need it for?
    Activities required for the probe to undertake - Lensman you are a good engineer you suggest those activities
    Response systems - How should it be implemented? - What does it look like?
    Identification and recognition systems - again what does it sound/look like and when should it be broadcast? How will it be caught?

    That should do for now.

    There will be more and they will be appended as we go - Lets call it the Screwfix Mission to Mars - We may even solve why we went wrong and that has to be better than cynically gloating that we didn't.

    Dont just say 'we should save power by turning off the lights at night'. Lets have the values of the saving and the proportions of other activities that the saving can be used for.

    Are you up for it?

    Is that a sock in your pants or are you really a man (or woman)?

    See you back here - Soon


    I will oversee all aspects of the mission - I will provide supplementary info to the mix and adjudicate on arguments.

    All contributers will be expected to control the project at one time or another.

    If you're not an engineer then thats ok we need all hands to the pumps. This is a national issue and all patriots are welcome
  14. Charlie Far!ey

    Charlie Far!ey New Member

    The delivery vehicle is tried and tested so we are now in Mars orbit but what have we got to deliver? a probe and repeater station to be sustained in orbit? Just a delivery probe? A pizza without anchovys but lots of mayo?

    Come on guys we need information.

  15. WOLF

    WOLF New Member

    CHARLIE, the reason that the damned beagle went A.W.O.L. was because some jerk brain VARNISHED it instead of putting OILED IRON wood heat sheilds on it... the thing burnt up on entry...SIMPLE!!

    should have gone to the sun, at night of course!!
  16. Charlie Far!ey

    Charlie Far!ey New Member

    Yeah I know Wolf - The a** h** - Oak is the next woman I will marry and God help those that adulterate her.

    Hey - Are you in on the mission Wolf?


    [Edited by: admin]
  17. Dewy

    Dewy New Member

    Many years ago american skyscraper managers discovered that the heat generated by leaving the lights on 24 hours a day saved a lot of money on heating the building up after the weekend or just at night with them off.

    As far as Mars is concerned, there are already plans to terraform it for our use. Their 1st concideration is to find out if there is any form of life there now, bacterial or otherwise. The planet is cold but if we sent a vessel there containing a lot of blue/green algae, it lives in most temperatures & thrives on carbon dioxide & would give off oxygen. It may take a thousand years but eventually the atmosphere would be breathable & a greenhouse effect would be created, raising the temperature which would melt any frozen water in the soil. Its not a matter of IF we would colonise Mars but more like WHEN.
    They may find that the planet is red because past denizens covered everything with varnish & died off as a result thereby proving WOLF to be correct.
  18. Charlie Far!ey

    Charlie Far!ey New Member

    So blue/gren algae is suggetsed and that needs water to exist - Errr so we're now just short of water - How much energy will the lights convert to heat and what impact will it have on the mission?

    C'mon Dewey you can do better than that!

  19. WOLF

    WOLF New Member

    of course!!!!!!!!!!
  20. Dewy

    Dewy New Member

    its likely to take 1000years for the algae to produce enough oxygen (presuming the ice on mars is water) & I'm not likely to live that long unless sent into space & frozen then revived so I couldnt give a damn. lmao

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