Hints and Tips - by order of Jord86

Discussion in 'Just Talk' started by WillyEckerslike, Mar 15, 2018.

  1. btiw2

    btiw2 Screwfix Select

    Btiw2’s top ten hints and tips for bodgers
    1. The right tool for the job is the one in your hand.
    2. It’s not a snag, it’s a feature - a structurally unsound feature.
    3. Pozi and Phillips are exactly the same, provided you never want to get the screw back out.
    4. Post Brexit we will get rid of ridiculous euro-millimetres and revert to bodger-imperial engineering units. Touch, tad, wodge, buckets and shedloads.
    5. For sticking: Foam, mastic or pva - whichever’s open.
    6. For cleaning: Brick acid, acetone, iso-alcohol or white spirit - whichever’s open.
    7. Or spit - that works too.
    8. The correct torque specification is always “tighten-until-something-cracks-then-back-an-eighth-of-a-turn”.
    9. The best penetrating release spray is an angle grinder.
    10. Finally, remember that good job should outlive the person who carried it out. Achieve this by excessive drinking and smoking.
  2. candoabitofmoststuff

    candoabitofmoststuff Screwfix Select


    Just get a bigger hammer!


  3. DIYDave.

    DIYDave. Screwfix Select

    793C44CE-8F77-4950-95AF-2C7CE1A4EC38.jpeg If you partake in the odd sarnie and buy sliced bread from the supermarket, keep the empty bread bags, give them a good shake out to remove crumbs (I mean, a really good shake out)

    If your doing any painting and using 9/12” rollers, these bags make excellent storage for the sleeves during coats. Wrap them up tight and sleeves will stay fresh for days.

    Keep the sealed bag in the fridge, even better, can use the sleeve after weeks

    Don’t use bag inside out otherwise print will transfer onto roller (how do I know this :mad:)

    Unusually for placky bags, these ones have no punched holes - otherwise your bread would go stale

    As far as I know, any brand and style of loaf ‘bag’ will work - just I quite like the one in picture

    PS. Check that your roller sleeve doesn’t have a gluten allergy before using said bread bag, thanks :)
    Jord86 and Dr Bodgit like this.
  4. Dr Bodgit

    Dr Bodgit Super Member

    And don't confuse it with your lunch!
  5. btiw2

    btiw2 Screwfix Select

    Corollary: always start with the biggest hammer.
  6. Jord86

    Jord86 Screwfix Select

    Cheers for the shout out Willy, that way when this thread descends into a virtual punch up and "my penis is bigger than yours, isms", I'll get the blame! ;) :D
  7. Jord86

    Jord86 Screwfix Select

    Ok, tip time.

    If you have a scratch (not a gouge, that's a different ball game) on your beautiful hardwood dining/coffee/autopsy table, cut a walnut in half and rub the cut side into the scratch vigorously until the nut disintegrates. As daft as it sounds, the oils in the nut soak into the scratch and blends it in significantly. It's not invisible, but it's a good second best.
  8. retiredsparks

    retiredsparks Super Member

    Lots of tips for bodgers from far and wide.
    Unfortunately...........being an Engineer... I prefer to use the right tool for the job and understand the limitations and specifications of products used.
    As an example using hot water to remove rusted on brake drums.....clever stuff.
  9. Jord86

    Jord86 Screwfix Select

    In conjunction with your top tip Dave, if you cut the top and edge opposite the handle on a 2 pint milk carton neatly, like a square shape about halfway down, it makes a superb receptacle to store your brushes in a couple inches of white spirit. Please refrain from smoking whilst doing so, otherwise you may need a tip on skin grafts.
  10. CGN

    CGN Screwfix Select

    Fitting worktops...always cut female first. If corner not 90, scribe and adjust jig to suit.
    WillyEckerslike likes this.
  11. Jord86

    Jord86 Screwfix Select

    If preparing to tile a splashback and you've run out of PVA, too tight to buy bluegrit/pregrit and sticky back plastic is really not recommended, score deeply in a criss cross pattern with a sharp Stanley knife and keep the scores close together to provide a decent key for the adhesive to grip.
    WillyEckerslike likes this.
  12. Jord86

    Jord86 Screwfix Select

    Kitchens ripped out, new ones delivered, stress is mounting, veins are bulging, where the hell do I start from? You find the lowest point of your floor, measure up the combined height of your plinth, unit and worktop and mark a level line all the way around your walls, that is now your datum line, keep the backs of the units accurately to this line, and level the fronts to suit.
    I-Man likes this.
  13. Decorator Dan

    Decorator Dan New Member

    Like the bread bag idea! I’ve always carried a roll of cling film. Good excuse to eat more toast!
  14. I-Man

    I-Man Screwfix Select

    If you're ever fitting IKEA or some other flat pack wardrobes in a carpeted room, rip down some 9mm MDF to the depth of the units and lay them in position on the floor and assemble on that - that way you can easily manoeuver the wardrobes into position rather than trying to drag it over carpet, which inevitably catches and starts ripping apart the joints.
  15. Muzungu

    Muzungu Screwfix Select

    Every hand tool can also be used as a hammer.
  16. Dan Greenslade

    Dan Greenslade Active Member

    Wouldnt recommend a stanley blade though.. nasty buggers them
  17. RolandK

    RolandK Screwfix Select

    Handy as an emergency contraceptive too!

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