Btiw2’s top ten hints and tips for bodgers The right tool for the job is the one in your hand. It’s not a snag, it’s a feature - a structurally unsound feature. Pozi and Phillips are exactly the same, provided you never want to get the screw back out. Post Brexit we will get rid of ridiculous euro-millimetres and revert to bodger-imperial engineering units. Touch, tad, wodge, buckets and shedloads. For sticking: Foam, mastic or pva - whichever’s open. For cleaning: Brick acid, acetone, iso-alcohol or white spirit - whichever’s open. Or spit - that works too. The correct torque specification is always “tighten-until-something-cracks-then-back-an-eighth-of-a-turn”. The best penetrating release spray is an angle grinder. Finally, remember that good job should outlive the person who carried it out. Achieve this by excessive drinking and smoking.