It's national poetry day.

Discussion in 'Just Talk' started by Crowsfoot, Oct 3, 2013.

  1. Crowsfoot

    Crowsfoot Well-Known Member

    Anyone got some poems to share?
    The theme this year is water water everywhere,very appropriate for today
    Here is my effort for this year.

    "Water is leaking under my sink
    Please make haste, no time to blink.
    Soon I'll have a flood then my cupboard will no longer be any good!
    Ah,madam the leak's on the waste good job I got here in haste.
    Screwfix will have the parts to sort this out.
    Of that there can be no doubt".
  2. joinerjohn1

    joinerjohn1 Screwfix Select

    "Water's leaking from my shower,
    Tomp said he be here within the hour,
    I waited and waited, twas all in vain
    Tomp were tekkin photo's down Asda again."
  3. tom.plum

    tom.plum Screwfix Select

    ah mr crowsfoot, a challange you have brought
    I've only just got in from work,
    so can't give it much thought,
    but i'll come back later on tha knows
    when't cyber friends are here.
    but i need my tea before I try
    and hopefully a beer ,
  4. tom.plum

    tom.plum Screwfix Select

    the new forum is coming soon and I hope its for the best
    the last time they updated it
    they made a bloody mess
    I lost my name and password, i never got it back,
    if it happens again this time
    I'll give um all the sack,

    I had to start from nought again,
    and worked my way back up
    now my posts are in the thousands
    though I know there is no cup,

    I buys me stuff from screwfix
    cos they've a shop near me
    but if the forum buggers up again
    I'll want some stuff for free,

    I like that peter screwfix,
    and alex too's no mug
    but katie sounds a pushy lass
    though i would't mind a hug,

    so good luck with the venture
    I'm sure you'll get it right,
    and dont forget my entry
    in the new van draw tonight, ;)
  5. joinerjohn1

    joinerjohn1 Screwfix Select

    " I saw a lass down Asda,
    parked in't disabled space,
    an when she got out of er car
    it my red blood race.

    She walked right into Asda
    there's **** all wrong wi er
    She ad a Gucci handbag
    an er coat were made of fur.

    I waited till she'd done er shoppin
    an got me camera out
    some snaps I started poppin
    to show the law she'd flout

    I posted one on Screwfix.
    not expectin flak
    till Sean of Ork, he came along
    and got right up me back

    Young Sean I think he's single.
    I'm sure he's on is own
    coz he asked me for her number
    so he could get her on his phone

    I've passed er number on to him
    and now he's pleased as punch
    he told me just the other day
    he'd asked her out to lunch.
  6. tom.plum

    tom.plum Screwfix Select

    yes seanie is a loner
    he wants a lass to love
    but his temperments none happy
    so he asked the lord above,

    sweet lord will you help me
    to get a lass like tom's
    jesus took his hand,
    and hung him by the thumbs

    now swing a bit,
    and lossen up
    you wicked little man,
    of give a few good tips, of your own,
    before you get a ban,

  7. joinerjohn1

    joinerjohn1 Screwfix Select

  8. teabreak

    teabreak Well-Known Member

    I need to go the plumber said
    The customer was a mile ahead

    Why need you go my plumber man
    To leave my sink in your plumbers van

    I'm off to Screwfix the worker cried
    And went to leave and just outside

    The lady ran and loudly cried
    Forget Miss Fix, come back inside.
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2013
  9. tom.plum

    tom.plum Screwfix Select

    the poems  day is closing soon
    and most of them are read,
    and as its getting late at night
    I'm going off to bed,

    me beer is gone, i've supped it dry
    I'll need some more tommorow
    and as me funds have gone,
    I'm going't have to borrow,

    so if you can please spare a thought
    for a plumber who is broke,
    and bring a tin of beer,
    or else a class of coke,

    si thee morn neet
  10. joinerjohn1

    joinerjohn1 Screwfix Select

    You'll have to try them payday loans
    although they're rather dear,
    because tomorrows Friday
    and I know you like yer beer.

    I've heard they charge  a fortune
    if you should need a loan.
    but if you canna pay it back
    they're bound to have a moan

    My missus says she's givin up
    drinkin in October
    I'm gonna support her in this
    but I'm only gonna Actsober

    Well our Tomp, it's gettin late
    I need my beauty sleep
    I'm gonna dream of't 70's
    when beer was really cheap

    I've tried all the forums
    includin donuts and the rest
    but keep comin back to Screwfix
    cause we know it's just the best.

    Ah'll si thee. ;)
  11. unphased

    unphased Screwfix Select

    Nothing rhymes with orange, so I'm stuck on the next line...
  12. Mr. Handyandy

    Mr. Handyandy Screwfix Select

    'Course it does

    Mr. HandyAndy - Really
  13. unphased

    unphased Screwfix Select

    Okay, handy, what rhymes with orange?
  14. joinerjohn1

    joinerjohn1 Screwfix Select

    Yep, there's one word that rhymes with orange. "Sporange" (part of a fern) but very rarely used. ;);)
  15. tom.plum

    tom.plum Screwfix Select

    I woke up this morning with a runny nose, tha kneeers
    and a sore throat, for which I took a losenge
    then fifteen minutes later, I was talking on the phone
    which happens to be on orange,

  16. tom.plum

    tom.plum Screwfix Select

    I was shooting at some ducks one day
    but they was out of range
    so i had an early lunch that day.
    an apple and a blood orange,

  17. unphased

    unphased Screwfix Select

    Like I said, nothing rhymes with orange. Its one of the few words that doesn't have a rhyme.
  18. Mr GrimNasty

    Mr GrimNasty Active Member

    I had a citrus orchard, that grew a lovely orange
    Next to a fern filled grove, that had a lot of sporange
    joinerjohn1 likes this.
  19. Mr. Handyandy

    Mr. Handyandy Screwfix Select

    I once was told, a foreign joke
    About an egg with an orange yolk
    The rabbit in his warren jeers
    With his funny coloured orange ears.
  20. unphased

    unphased Screwfix Select

    Apparently sporange is the ONLY word that rhymes with orange, so well done to you and JoinerJohn. :)

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