Oops!

I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller", he said "Not you again".
 
joinerjohn1 said:
The school teacher asked the class to make up a sentence with the word “ contagious” in it. Little Mary puts her hand up and says, “My sister had measles and the doctor said it’s contagious.” The teacher told her “ That’s very good Mary,,,, anyone else?” Little Johnny puts his hand up and said,, “ My sister asked mum when do you think dad will finish painting the bathroom?” Mum replied “ I don’t know,, It’ll take that c*** ages. “
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Sounds familiar! :D:p;)
 
Stood at the bar in my local Spoons & kept hearing this voice, nice shirt mate, like your shoes, that jacket really suits you, I asked the manager what’s going on, he said that will be the nuts sir they are complimentary :(
 
Also later on in the same Spoons this skeleton walks up to the bar & sez a pint of bitter please...........& a mop
 
facilities said:
Stood at the bar in my local Spoons & kept hearing this voice, nice shirt mate, like your shoes, that jacket really suits you, I asked the manager what’s going on, he said that will be the nuts sir they are complimentary :(
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I went up to the fruit machine and it told me how bad my shirt was and how terrible I looked. Complained to the manager. He told me the machine was out of order.
 
Englisman, irishman and scotman in a Bar.
To us, thats the start of a joke..
To an Iraqi...that's a hostage situation.
;)
RS
 
Wife says to husband, “You only ever want sex when you’re drunk.” Husband says, “That’s not true... Sometimes I want a kebab.”
 
Funny how that lot ended up being a right bunch of old porkers...
Rs
 
Yeah RS know what you mean, the ladies can’t seem to keep their figures as well as us guys,;)

Need to be a bit careful here or the keepers of the SF morals will be on our case for being sexist oldist & fatist with a touch of chauvinism (not sure if some of those words exist *but you get my drift)

I did notice that one or two seems to be on an enforced absence but I guess normal service will be resumed soon, perhaps we can arrange a welcome back Brexit party no doubt though they will have their ankle tags on for a while

Anyway that minds me while I am this far. “The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said *Did you get my drift?".:(
 
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