Oops!

Discussion in 'Just Talk' started by WillyEckerslike, Feb 4, 2018.

  1. WillyEckerslike

    WillyEckerslike Well-Known Member

    Why do divers go backwards out of boats?

    Because if they went forwards, they'd still be in the boat.
     
  2. facilities

    facilities Guest

    I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller", he said "Not you again".
     
  3. The Teach

    The Teach Well-Known Member

    Tip of the day... Never trust an electrician with frizzy hair!
     
  4. goldenboy

    goldenboy Well-Known Member

    My midget mate just got pickpocketed. How can anyone stoop so low?
     
    ManTheVan likes this.
  5. Astramax

    Astramax Well-Known Member

    Sounds familiar! :D:p;)
     
  6. retiredsparks

    retiredsparks Well-Known Member

    Last weeek in Spain, I was involved in a rather nasty unprovoked mugging.
    On the plus side...i did make a few quid out of it.:cool:
    Rs
     
  7. facilities

    facilities Guest

    Stood at the bar in my local Spoons & kept hearing this voice, nice shirt mate, like your shoes, that jacket really suits you, I asked the manager what’s going on, he said that will be the nuts sir they are complimentary :(
     
  8. facilities

    facilities Guest

    Also later on in the same Spoons this skeleton walks up to the bar & sez a pint of bitter please...........& a mop
     
  9. goldenboy

    goldenboy Well-Known Member

    I went up to the fruit machine and it told me how bad my shirt was and how terrible I looked. Complained to the manager. He told me the machine was out of order.
     
  10. retiredsparks

    retiredsparks Well-Known Member

    Englisman, irishman and scotman in a Bar.
    To us, thats the start of a joke..
    To an Iraqi...that's a hostage situation.
    ;)
    RS
     
  11. The Teach

    The Teach Well-Known Member

    The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won’t go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5.
     
    Jord86 and WillyEckerslike like this.
  12. facilities

    facilities Guest

  13. The Teach

    The Teach Well-Known Member

    Wife says to husband, “You only ever want sex when you’re drunk.” Husband says, “That’s not true... Sometimes I want a kebab.”
     
  14. facilities

    facilities Guest

  15. retiredsparks

    retiredsparks Well-Known Member

    Funny how that lot ended up being a right bunch of old porkers...
    Rs
     
  16. facilities

    facilities Guest

    Yeah RS know what you mean, the ladies can’t seem to keep their figures as well as us guys,;)

    Need to be a bit careful here or the keepers of the SF morals will be on our case for being sexist oldist & fatist with a touch of chauvinism (not sure if some of those words exist *but you get my drift)

    I did notice that one or two seems to be on an enforced absence but I guess normal service will be resumed soon, perhaps we can arrange a welcome back Brexit party no doubt though they will have their ankle tags on for a while

    Anyway that minds me while I am this far. “The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said *Did you get my drift?".:(
     
  17. Broon

    Broon Active Member

    Have you guy's heard of that new rap duo sweeping the nation:

    PJ & Drunkin
     
  18. facilities

    facilities Guest


    go on then, no o_O

    Also I may add in case you were not aware, statistically 6 out of 7 Dwarves are not happy
     
  19. Dr Bodgit

    Dr Bodgit Well-Known Member

    But I bet Snow White is.
     
  20. facilities

    facilities Guest

    Steady now :rolleyes:
     

Share This Page