Discussion in 'Just Talk' started by WillyEckerslike, Feb 4, 2018.
Why do divers go backwards out of boats?
Because if they went forwards, they'd still be in the boat.
I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller", he said "Not you again".
Tip of the day... Never trust an electrician with frizzy hair!
My midget mate just got pickpocketed. How can anyone stoop so low?
Last weeek in Spain, I was involved in a rather nasty unprovoked mugging.
On the plus side...i did make a few quid out of it.
Stood at the bar in my local Spoons & kept hearing this voice, nice shirt mate, like your shoes, that jacket really suits you, I asked the manager what’s going on, he said that will be the nuts sir they are complimentary
Also later on in the same Spoons this skeleton walks up to the bar & sez a pint of bitter please...........& a mop
I went up to the fruit machine and it told me how bad my shirt was and how terrible I looked. Complained to the manager. He told me the machine was out of order.
Englisman, irishman and scotman in a Bar.
To us, thats the start of a joke..
To an Iraqi...that's a hostage situation.
The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won’t go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5.
Wife says to husband, “You only ever want sex when you’re drunk.” Husband says, “That’s not true... Sometimes I want a kebab.”
Funny how that lot ended up being a right bunch of old porkers...
Yeah RS know what you mean, the ladies can’t seem to keep their figures as well as us guys,
Need to be a bit careful here or the keepers of the SF morals will be on our case for being sexist oldist & fatist with a touch of chauvinism (not sure if some of those words exist *but you get my drift)
I did notice that one or two seems to be on an enforced absence but I guess normal service will be resumed soon, perhaps we can arrange a welcome back Brexit party no doubt though they will have their ankle tags on for a while
Anyway that minds me while I am this far. “The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said *Did you get my drift?".
Have you guy's heard of that new rap duo sweeping the nation:
PJ & Drunkin
go on then, no
Also I may add in case you were not aware, statistically 6 out of 7 Dwarves are not happy
But I bet Snow White is.
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