poems

Discussion in 'Just Talk' started by tomplum, Sep 10, 2007.

  1. ª¹

    ª¹ New Member

    I hope you sleep real soundly,
    as in your bed you lie,
    then later as the morning comes,
    you hopefully **** die.

    [Edited by: admin5]
     
  2. sooyar

    sooyar New Member

    There's a * on here called banallsheds
    Who's such a **** beaut
    He needs a piece of four by two
    Rammin up his chute

    (In a very humane non challenging way of course)

    [Edited by: admin5]
     
  3. Mr GrimNasty

    Mr GrimNasty Active Member

    Not my own work, far too sophisticated:

    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    The shorter the skirt
    the better the view
    ====================
    Handy Andy, chimney sweeper,
    Had a wife and couldn't keep her.
    Had another, didn't love her -
    Up the chimney he did shove her
    ====================
    There was a man who always wore, A saucepan on his head.
    I asked him what he did it for - 'I don't know why,' he said.
    'It always makes my ears so sore, I am a foolish man.
    I think I'll have to take it off
    And wear a frying pan.
     
  4. tomplum

    tomplum Active Member

    opps i've gone and spilt me tea.
    and lost a dozen crackers.
    the tea was *** boilin hot
    and it scalded half me knackers.

    [Edited by: admin5]
     
  5. ª¹

    ª¹ New Member

    "and it scalded half me knackers."


    It finally dropped then!

    Nice one. ;)
     
  6. sooyar

    sooyar New Member

    Tomplums plums got washed last night
    that makes a welcome change
    but the silly ** used boiling tea
    which left them looking strange

    They were all redraw and peeling
    his bag was all ablister
    when they scraped him off the ceiling
    it was bandaged by his sister

    [Edited by: admin5]
     
  7. Badger001

    Badger001 New Member

    Spine

    I said, “I am so useless.
    “I have not got a plan.
    “I cannot get a woman.
    “I’d settle for a man.

    “I am getting desperate.
    “My mind is full of fog.
    “I cannot find a fella.
    “I’d settle for a dog.

    “But dogs are very dirty,
    “And I don’t mean to whine.
    “I’ll settle for ‘most anything
    “If it has a spine.”

    My friend said, “I am worried
    “About the way you look.”
    So she gave me a present.
    It was a hardback book.
     
  8. devil's advocate

    devil's advocate New Member

    Your poems are too good for me,
    so I’m off out to have a wee
    look at my front garden,
    so nice it’s ‘nuf to give a *.

    Two li’l ponds I’m digging there,
    yes, that’s two – I like a pair.
    Betwixt three trees there they lie
    like two ears, a nose and eye(s). (ahem)

    Every time I move a sod,
    I think of sooyar – what a gob.
    Full of carp, he’s quite a lad,
    half a brain - he’s well sad.

    Thick as **, and twice as smelly,
    big fat ****, and a round fat belly.
    Really, he is truly crass -
    did I mention his big fat ***?

    His head is full of putrid mush,
    not like t’Devil – he’s well lush.
    A mind of vitriol and hate;
    a life of hell, that’s his fate.

    Who would possibly want to know him?
    His attitude is so well grim.
    Right of Ghengis Khan sits he,
    out-doing his ev-ery decree.

    I thought we had progressed beyond this,
    it seems I’m wrong – he takes the **.
    Hitler would of had a friend,
    a flexible one – for him he’d 'bend'.

    What are we to do with sooyar?
    Maybe he is bi-polar.
    Except that we are still waiting,
    for a glimpse of nice guy – but he’s still grating.

    Did I mention he’s a twit?
    A twit, a twit - that’s just about it.
    Twitie, twitie twitie-twoo,
    A stinking pile of festering do-do.

    (with thanks to ‘Rhymezone’ – ‘cept for last verse… :()

    [Edited by: admin5]
     
  9. sooyar

    sooyar New Member

    Don't give up your day job
    whatever you may do
    when god, handed out intelligence
    he never got to you

    It's not your fault
    you can only play
    the cards that you've been given
    but must you show to all the world
    the stupidity, by which you're driven
     
  10. Mr GrimNasty

    Mr GrimNasty Active Member

    Clucking Bell
    Oh Bucket
    Jazzzzzz; NICE!

    (It's a short performance 'art' poem, you have to be in smokey nightclub, tap the beat, pause in unpredictable places, put pointless undue emphasis on random syllables etc. )
     
  11. devil's advocate

    devil's advocate New Member

  12. sooyar

    sooyar New Member

    :) x 2

    Okey dokey


    Don't give up your day job
    whatever you may do
    when god, handed out intelligence
    he never got to you

    It's not your fault, you can only play
    the cards that you've been given
    but must you show to all the world
    the stupidity, by which you're driven

    I must admit, I had respect
    for you, before I knew
    the limit of your intellect
    but now, I see right through

    Your argument's you can't sustain
    and so you have to scoff
    if dynamite was used for brain
    your hat wouldn't be blown off


    (Is that what you meant, or were you giving up?) :)
     
  13. ª¹

    ª¹ New Member

    sooyarcanusegoogle@wnker.pft,
    got stung on the neck by a wasp,
    when asked if it hurted,
    he said, naaaahh.
    End of limerick.
     
  14. sooyar

    sooyar New Member

    I've seen your picture in your posts
    you ugly, round faced tw*t
    I wouldn't put my photo up
    If I had a kite like that
     
  15. ª¹

    ª¹ New Member

    The 'picture' that you think is real,
    is actually just a nick,
    I'm feeling ***** writing this,
    so you can suck my kumquat.
     
  16. sooyar

    sooyar New Member

    If you're kumquat's anything like your face
    There is no great temptation
    *

    [Edited by: admin5]
     
  17. ª¹

    ª¹ New Member

    *

    [Edited by: admin5]
     
  18. ª¹

    ª¹ New Member

    Admin,
    madmin,
    badmin,
    sadmin.
     
  19. Harry_Davison

    Harry_Davison New Member

    Sooyer an Tom youre a pair of wits,
    you never get on my ****..
    I enjoy reading your verse
    dont let bas an admin5 make you terse..




    Oh Clint, you are Dead ,
    You were the funniest poster
    we have read ...
    take heed in the fact,
    you had no tact ....
    if somewhat eratic
    but your prose was always estatic ....(Pfftz)


    1/10 for rubbish bad speling effort :)
     
  20. sooyar

    sooyar New Member

    The 'picture' that you think is real,
    is actually just a nick,
    I'm feeling ***** writing this,
    so you can suck my kumquat.

    You've changed it now, you cheatin **
    you've made it go all slanty
    now, you look like a who'oers crutch
    imprinted on her panty

    [Edited by: admin5]
     

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