I’m retired now but spent the last few years of working life on the office side of things, there was a mix of male & female but only a very small number of staff,
Anyway to cut a long one short most days there was usually good banter that no one seemed to be offended by but I dare say the p c brigade would not agree with,
There was a married somewhat mature lady who used to sit quite close to myself and we would quite often take the mick out of each other, on this particular day I played a little joke and asked her best mate in the next office to play along
It went something like this, I used my private mobile to send her a text message on her mobile (her mate gave me the number I have also changed the names here) she was not aware of my number
‘Good morning Diane it’s Dating.com here just to advise you your profile has been on the net without any replies for 6 months now, may I suggest we try a week without your photo. Regards. Dating.Com’
Her phone pinged and I watched her expression as she read the text, under her breath she uttered What! What! and dashed next door to show her friend (who was in on it) she said to her mate Carol look at this text I’ve been sent, Carol read it and said well it can’t do any harm as suggested try a week without your photo, Diane hit the roof and said but I’m not on any dating site! at this she heard the laughter from next door (we all had our ears to the door) she raced in shouting I’ll kill him I’ll bloody kill him and proceeded to chase me round the desk, in the end we all fell about laughing including Diane,
I dare say the p c people would accuse me of bullying or harassment but we all took it in good fun including Diane who went on to do the same trick herself on one of her friends
Yes, of
course she 'took it in good fun'. Which, of
course, was the only 'intention' behind it. Probably x 2.
Let’s look at your example, Facs; thank you for being so open and honest (ie: devoid of self awareness).
A married and ‘somewhat mature’ lady became the butt of one of your ‘jokes’. I would speculate that pretty much
all ‘somewhat mature’ women
and men are
fully aware of their advancing years and the toll that takes on their physique. Some will be ok with this, others less so. Some may be struggling. Some may be having a hard time at home with a tetchy relationship and be really feeling a bit afraid and insecure at what the future holds. All perfectly natural and normal, although it’s a shame we set such store on ‘looks’ and ‘yoof’ these days. But we all
know we are losing what we once had, and it ain't coming back.
But the sensitive Facs thinks it’ll be a great lark to make fun of this ‘somewhat mature’ lady’s physical appearance, in public, where she cannot
but accept it as a ‘joke’ (without coming across even worse); a joke that's completely at
her expense and no-one else’s. The ‘giver’ of this ‘joke’ just stands back and watches.
Facs, would you have said to her face “If you ever join a dating agency, don’t include a photo?” Good, pleased to hear that. But it’s ok to wrap it up in a ‘lark’?
Now, I do acknowledge that the way you put this ‘joke’ together was pretty clever and actually quite funny in
itself. But was it - what’s the word -
kind?
What would Christopher Hitchens have to say about it? Or Stephen Fry? (I’m pretty sure I know. I’m
certain I know.)
I am appalled at it, Facs. Honestly, I am. And hugely disappointed that it has been ‘liked’ by some others on here, instead of being challenged. How you could have imagined that this, frankly quite
cruel, ‘joke’ would be a good example of acceptable ‘banter’ defeats me. It just isn’t, pal. Not by a long chalk.
Put yourself in the position of an ageing and potentially insecure woman (yes, I know you’ll claim she’s a strong character/up for a laff/ready to give as good as she gets/etc etc) who has – in public – had the mick taken out of her because of her looks. Isn’t there a single fibre in you that recognises that you may – just
may – have taken a risk with this? Misjudged this ever so slightly? No?
Really?
(Or is it the only way you can get women to chase you around the table these days?)
Put it another way - you will no doubt claim that you would
take it with equal hilarity if a woman in that office played a similar trick on 'older' you, citing - I dunno - hair loss, libido loss, sagging jowls, spreading midriff, the suggestion that you do not include a photo in any dating advert. LOL! How you'd laugh! On the outside.
And even if you
were that unbovvered (which I doubt very much), what makes you think you can launch this at others? At
their expense?
And what else do most folk who kinda know they don't have a proper argument for their behaviour do? Yes, get on the offensive and make up some hopefully-derisive terms as if it makes a point, names to call their nemesis; snowflakes, leftie-libs, PC gorn mad. Yes it does make a point, but not the way you think. Let's not forget 'Remoaner'. Always good for a chuckle.
Oh no! Don't mention B*****! I will - 'cos it's no coincidence at all that Facs and RS are also staunch ‘Leavers’. I have always claimed there are largely two types of folks, and I stick by it.
