The joke thread

Discussion in 'Just Talk' started by BiancoTheGiraffe, Mar 14, 2022.

  1. WildCat

    WildCat Well-Known Member

  2. WildCat

    WildCat Well-Known Member

    A police officer pulls over a blonde driver and says "Can I see your driving licence?

    She says "I think I have one of those, what does it look like?"

    Police officer replies "It's rectangular in shape and has your face on it".

    She pulls out her mirror.
     
    Mark DM likes this.
  3. Alan22

    Alan22 Screwfix Select

  4. Mark DM

    Mark DM Screwfix Select

  5. WildCat

    WildCat Well-Known Member

    A woman is driving on the M25 for the first time.

    Her husband calls and says "Be careful love, it's just been on the news that someone is driving on the wrong side".

    She replies "SOMEONE? THESE IDIOTS ARE IN THE HUNDREDS."
     
    Ind spark likes this.
  6. Bob Rathbone

    Bob Rathbone Screwfix Select

    Lady driver on the motorway knitting while driving, a police car draws up along side and the passenger lowers the window. She also lowers hers. The passenger Police offices says "Pull over!", she replies "No, socks". :)
     
    gadget man and Ind spark like this.
  7. WildCat

    WildCat Well-Known Member

  8. Rosso

    Rosso Screwfix Select

    The bookshop had a third off all titles, so I bought 'The Lion, the Witch'
     
    Ind spark likes this.
  9. WildCat

    WildCat Well-Known Member

    As one door closes, another one opens. Wish I'd paid more attention to the assembly instructions for this wardrobe.
     
    Astramax and Mark DM like this.
  10. Mark DM

    Mark DM Screwfix Select

    IMG-20240321-WA0005.jpg
     
    WildCat likes this.
  11. Mark DM

    Mark DM Screwfix Select

  12. Alan22

    Alan22 Screwfix Select

    FB_IMG_1711490461687.jpg
     
    WildCat likes this.
  13. WildCat

    WildCat Well-Known Member

    upload_2024-3-27_6-20-29.png
     
    Mark DM likes this.
  14. davidclarks

    davidclarks New Member

    Once my friend asked me a question : " what is the largest word in English " I am confuses about that but
    after that he told me the answer is " Smiles " because of their is mile between to words "Mile"....
    Hahhhaah
     
  15. WildCat

    WildCat Well-Known Member

    Is that an AI attempt at a joke? Or just a failed attempt to Copy and Paste?
     
    WH55 likes this.
  16. Bob Rathbone

    Bob Rathbone Screwfix Select

    "It's a cracker", no not Frank Carson, it really is a Christmas Cracker joke.
     
  17. WildCat

    WildCat Well-Known Member

  18. WildCat

    WildCat Well-Known Member

    A store that sells new husbands has opened in NYC, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
    You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but cannot go back down except to exit the building!
    So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor, the sign on the door reads:
    Floor 1 – These Men Have Jobs. She is intrigued but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
    Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. “That’s nice,” she thinks, “but I want more.” So she continues upward. The third-floor sign reads:
    Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good-looking. “Wow,” she thinks but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
    Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking, and Help With Housework. “Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
    Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
    Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
     
    longboat, stevie22 and Rosso like this.
  19. davidclarks

    davidclarks New Member

    no it is not a AI attempt to joke it is by a human
     
  20. stevie22

    stevie22 Screwfix Select

    Well a computer would say that wouldn't it!
     
    gadget man likes this.

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