The joke thread

Bazzaspark and @bright_Spark on a road trip.

 

Bazzaspark and @bright_Spark at work.

https://youtube.com/shorts/JAFqdw_i_VY?si=7RmAV_Ta9eR7IcGX

 

A Yorkshireman takes his dog to the vet and says "Me dog's scoffed a condom."

The vet says "You did the right thing by bringing him in. Leave him here and we'll keep him under observation. When he's passed it, I'll phone you."

A while later the vet's phone rings and it's the Yorkshireman. He says "Vetinry, dinna worry yersef. T wife's just found anuvva in t bedside draw."

 

Beaver health and safety fail number 1.

 

This is not actually a joke, I remember doing it, followed by 30 chin ups.

 

Woman sees a sign in a pet shop window. "Fanny licking frog - £25".
In she goes. "I'd like to see the fanny licking frog please"
Bloke behind the counter says. "Bonjour madame!"

 

that tickled my funny bones

 

And the Lord said unto John "Come forth and you will win eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a fondue set.

 

I always worry that when a woman sees me naked for the first time, she'll just scream and run out of the park.