The joke thread

I’ve written a song about tortillas.
Actually it’s more of a wrap.


Called in at the bakers and noticed all the cakes were priced at 50p except for one, which was priced at £1 ?

I said to the baker, “how come all your cakes are 50p but that one is £1?”

He said, “That’s Madeira cake.”
@Ind spark i’d better crack on with my rewire:eek:;)
 
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I had to get divorced, my ex wife kept correcting me all the time. Everything I said she corrected, all the time, every day. It was unbearable. I said, "Lisa, will you quit correcting me all the time."
"It's Linda." she said.
 
Guy goes into the doctors and asks the receptionist for an urgent appointment.."what's the issue" she asks...
"I'm having serious problems with my c***" was the answer
" please refrain from using that kind of language " was the reply " there are many other patients in here to be considered "
The guy walks out in a strop but the next day is back in and goes straight up to the reception desk. The receptionist braces herself and asks "how can I help you?"
" I'm having a major problem with my ear" he replies
" what's wrong with it" she asks
And so the guy replies...." I'm having a real problem p****** out of it!!
 
Have to question 19 though ...

A woman, who became pregnant, was on holiday with her female finacée ... maybe she collected a few oats from elsewhere!
 
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