Tradesman Rhymes...

Discussion in 'Just Talk' started by Jay20VT, Sep 11, 2009.

  1. Jay20VT

    Jay20VT New Member

    here's mine:

    My name is Jon the Builder and I am the best in town, loose bricks or plaster I will be straight round. I love to work for old ladies cos they trust me for my work but when her son comes round to check I wanna smack the * burk. I can build a wall in no time or break a chimney breast but its them dirty housewives that take me on those are the ones I like best.

    lol - anyone else?

    [Edited by: admin]
  2. tomplum

    tomplum Active Member

    my name is tom the plumber
    cos i failed all't tests at skool
    i fixes bogs and boilers
    for a living,
    as a rule,
    but come next time this year,
    i've decided to be unfair
    and double all my prices
    to become a millionaire,
  3. tomplum

    tomplum Active Member

    now its nealy friday teatime
    and i'm going to the pub
    i'll drink about a gallon
    then stagger home for grub
    if you think that i'm a alkie
    you're probley very right
    but i'm a happy alkie
    what did you do here tonight? :)
  4. Jay20VT

    Jay20VT New Member

  5. Jay20VT

    Jay20VT New Member

    My name is Tim the painter and I drink alot of beer just the other day I painted my neighbour and clipped him round the ear. Now I know I got a problem with booze and paintings how I fund it but I can't paint to save my life cos Im always ****** as a pundit. The local Offy's where I will be drinking away my life and don't worry about funding my habit I can steal it from the wife
  6. joinerjohn

    joinerjohn New Member

    My name is john the joiner, I join bits of wood,
    I do it every day, you know at this I'm really good
    Oak and teak , sapele too, I join all sorts of lumber. But best of all, my lovely wife when I * her up the *.

    [Edited by: admin]
  7. fitero

    fitero New Member

    Are you a **** by any chance?i do like a good ****,or even a bad one.
  8. Mr GrimNasty

    Mr GrimNasty Active Member

    Brickie thickie
    Chippy dippy
    Plumber dumber
    Fencer denser
    All electricians mentally deficient.
  9. Maurice Gogg

    Maurice Gogg New Member

    Builder - Retarded
    Carpenter - Socially inept
    Plumber - Idiot savant
    Tiler - No mark loser
    Electrician - Sexual inadequate
  10. Maurice Gogg

    Maurice Gogg New Member

    Oh, they're supposed to rhyme?
  11. Ú¶

    Ú¶ New Member

    I know a John The Builder,
    who posts his crud as 'Jay'.
    I know him cos he picked me up
    and found that I was bi.
  12. ­

    ­ New Member

    Grow up
  13. tomplum

    tomplum Active Member

    i've just come in't from pub tha nose.
    and feeling rather perky.
    wife's made me a plate o butties
    some chicken and some turky.
    when i've eaten um i'll go to bed .
    and dream of pastures new,
    tomorrow is a differant day
    from the day i had with you.
  14. Removed 4

    Removed 4 New Member

    Tomp dear, you've wasted your time in pipe fitting.

    You could've been the next Pam Ayres......

    If only you'd passed your eleven plus.

    Lu x
  15. Mr GrimNasty

    Mr GrimNasty Active Member

    He wishes he'd looked after his teeth.....
  16. ­

    ­ New Member

    If only he could count to eleven
  17. Ú¶

    Ú¶ New Member

    Grow up.


    [Edited by: admin]
  18. mr sillys

    mr sillys New Member

    time served men are one in ten the rest are * chancers

    all together now

    time served men are one in ten the rest are * chancers

    one more time

    time served men are one in ten the rest are * chancers


    [Edited by: admin]
  19. pearcy

    pearcy New Member


    go down road,cash giro,get down pub get plastered,go back home,watch tv ,cos im a big fat lazy *

    [Edited by: admin]
  20. Doonhamer Dan

    Doonhamer Dan New Member

    Your drawings are passed you've chosen a brick.
    You now need a brickie who's tidy and quick.
    If you go for the cheapest you'll only get *.
    Then you'll need me to put it all right.
    If its quality you want then I'm your man.
    Just give me a call I'm Doonhamer Dan. ;)

    [Edited by: admin]

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