Which way should patio slabs slope?

Discussion in 'Builders' Talk' started by tasty fish, Nov 7, 2003.

  1. tasty fish

    tasty fish Member

    I've heard conflicting ideas on which way patio slabs should slope? The popular one seems to be that they should slope AWAY from the house so that water drains away? Then someone told me that you don't want the foundations to dry out (particularly this dry summer) so the slabs should gently slope towards the house.

    I was thinking of having a half-slab width of gravel against the housewall, and then gently slope the first few slabs TOWARDS the house and the rest away. Is this a good idea? Thanks in advance.

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  2. jaslang

    jaslang New Member

    Where is your drain?

    If possible slope fall the paving towards the drain but be sure to stay 150mm below the DPC level of the house.

    The bit about keeping the foundations wet sounds like a joke!
  3. Charlie Far!ey

    Charlie Far!ey New Member

    First go to the travel agents and book a four week cruise.
    Tell your neighbours that you are looking after a Grizzly Bear for a friend and you've penned him up in the shed. Tell them "he's well fed but dangerous so dont let him out".

    Ask the person who told you to slope toward your house or any building to come around for a night of passion and bring some wine, lots of it. When they arrive ask him to prepare for the best sex he has ever had and to add some spice you are going to do it in the shed and for him nip in an prepare himself but leave the clothes indoors so they dont get damp. Once he's in there bolt the door locked as securely as you can. Using planks board it up securely windows, doors the lot. Hang a notice on the door saying DANGER GRIZZLY BEAR IN QUARANTINE - KEEP SEALED AT ALL TIMES

    Go indoors and switch up the music and drink the wine. Go to bed and rise at dawn to board the Oriana that sails on the morning tide for the Carribean.
    By the time you return he should be expired and serves him right being so stupid. You might get a few quid from medical students for his skeleton

    The fall is always away from the house at a rate of the 'curve of the bubble' on the level. So the line is just over the curved bit of the bubble. This will stop water building up and laying and turning into green slimy snot for the unsuspecting to skid to their doom on whether it be wet or frozen. Dont put stone against the house because unless you do it right you will be spending your days picking litter, leaves and weeds from it.

    Ask if your friends if they really like you, I mean really and they aren't just trying to scare you to death with tales of footings drying out and advising you to turn your house into a duck pond.

    I'm not even going to go there with the footings joke - Perhaps you can invite them round for a curry made with dog food and pontefract cakes as a bit of a laugh and to get your own back for scaring you.

    PS Can you change you name to something but dumb blonde because you are wise to ask fo guidance from this forum instead of listening to these Garden Gnomes who give you such rubbish advise

    Be lucky

  4. Charlie Far!ey

    Charlie Far!ey New Member

    PS Take note of jaslangs advice 150mm or two courses of bricks
  5. tasty fish

    tasty fish Member

    thanks a lot for the advice. it was my 'know-it-all' bruv! perhaps I ought to bury him under it... seriously, I'd always read you had to slope it away and then I've just read a report on how many insurance claims there are this year due to subsidence caused by foundations in dried clay. The existing patio is 2 courses of bricks below the dpc. I was going to add large gravel chunks against the wall coz I think it loks better. Any debris can be sucked up by my big powerful erm, leaf vac.
  6. Charlie Far!ey

    Charlie Far!ey New Member

    What does look good is to dig out 4" below the finished patio level and put in a weed membrane then some lean mixed concrete when its 30mm from the top loosely spread 20mm stone and some reject stones laid in randomly and gently push them into the concrete. Place a board over it and gently push it down to level. You may need to take some stones out to achieve this but when it's set it looks good and dont kick out.
  7. Guy

    Guy Member

    However do you think these stories up?
    Ok, you slated me a day or two ago, and I did give you a reply to that, BUT, I have to say, you have been very entertaining. You have me in hysterics.

  8. Guy

    Guy Member

    Sorry, the above message was is for Charlie
  9. gadget man

    gadget man Well-Known Member

    We sort of guessed that Guy!!
  10. tasty fish

    tasty fish Member

    although I'm not so sure about the advice of booking a cruise if recent events are anything to go by. I wonder if there's a way you can link that story of the cruise to pebble-dashing...
  11. Charlie Far!ey

    Charlie Far!ey New Member

    Thats better! I used to know a 'blonde' girl that wrote like you.

    Right here it is then Charlies recipe for pebble dashing.

    After you have served them copious amounts of Charlies Chum Curry (see above) follow up with 12 packets of peanuts washed down with 12 pints of Guinness and make absolutly sure that you use the loo before they do.

    Remember to bolt and seal the loo door behind them to prevent leakage.
  12. gadget man

    gadget man Well-Known Member

    Tasty Fish, when Charlie suggested you change your name, I think he meant to something more erotic/exotic!!
  13. harry

    harry Member

    eel be writing in any minute now,carping on and nearly falling off his perch.cod i also say ide like to go on but i'm beginning to flounder.also my sides hake.over to you charlie

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