Nicely tried, Jack, but you gotta know your limitations

. You gotta understand what you are up against here

. This is Longs' mettle:
"Now, I haven't checked yours or Phil's claims cos I don't need too, I believe them both."
"I ain't checked, so I won't say they're definitely correct, cos I don't know."
"I do (believe them both), there's no reason too not believe them."
"Yes, I chose to believe them because just like 'you' I also didn't have a Scooby."
"I gave them the benefit of the doubt."
"I'm not clinging to any figures. I don't know if there right or wrong."
"I'm sure they are correct, Jack."
This was followed by a tragic descent into
trying to be smug and patronising (which, of course, only actually succeeded in coming across as being
more evasion):
"Oh, my apologies, Jacky."
"You were either ignorant, Jack, or your best attempt at a 'cunning plan' was, well, er,,, not very cunning!"
"What was that question, champ?"
"Don't cry, Jack. I never meant too make you cry! I'm sorry.
"
"Whatever, dadyo"
"It's not my fault that you've got the painters in, Jacky!"
And a final bottoming crash into
sublime irony:
"You could be waiting quite some time for a coherent, relevant reply (from Jack), Phil."
Are you embarrassed, Longs?
(And would you admit to it even if you were?)