Not sure how anyone serious can quote just on those patchy details; Worktop material How many joints Butt / Mitre Cut outs Access How much scribing is needed Disposal of old worktop Etc
So I mean can someone come out and take a look- provide expert advice and a quote. Clearly you'd have to think someone an imbecile to expect an actual quote without evaluating the job first. If you've seriously nothing better to do than troll real paying customers in a Sunday night then I feel very sorry for you!
So why don't you call a local worktop fitter? This is an Internet forum for chat about DIY and the trades.
Actually, if you have nothing better to do than react indignantly at a mild bit of banter and gentle joking on a Sunday night then I feel very sorry for you. Perhaps you should assess your own attitude then post your job request on rated people and attempt to boost the economy and help the needy. Best of luck.
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